Which 'Orange Is The New Black' Character Are You?

1. Pick an ice cream treat:

  • Vanilla cone
  • King Cone
  • Italian ice
  • Coconut ice cream
  • Cinnamon ice cream
  • Tastee-Freez
  • Choco Taco
  • Chocolate and vanilla swirl soft serve
  • I don't like ice cream

2. You want to dole out some punishment to someone who's wronged you, BREAKFAST SANDWICH STYLE. How do you do it?

  • Put a bloody tampon in it.
  • Fill it with toothpaste. That'll show 'em! But it won't hurt 'em.
  • Put a ton of hot sauce on it. GOTCHA.
  • Put a lock of your hair in it. Worth it.
  • Put a bunch of safety pins in it.
  • Steal it and eat it in front of them.
  • Hide it from them.
  • Smash it into their face.
  • Pee on it.

3. Pick your prison nickname:

  • Psycho
  • Scrumptious
  • Marshmallow
  • Nails
  • Queenie
  • Spooky
  • Prison Princess
  • The Professor
  • The Iron Lady

4. Pick a shoe:

  • Toms
  • Doc Martens
  • Chuck Taylors
  • Gorgeous, expensive heels
  • Sparkly flats
  • Sensible Oxfords
  • Flip-flops
  • Steel-toed clogs
  • Anything I can DANCE in

5. You're working in the electric shop. What tool do you accidentally (or "accidentally") swipe?

  • A power drill
  • A circular saw
  • A hammer
  • A pair of industrial shears
  • A pair of pliers
  • A screwdriver
  • A sander
  • A tape measure
  • A level

6. It's movie night! Pick a Julia Roberts movie:

  • Pretty Woman
  • Erin Brockovich
  • The Pelican Brief
  • Runaway Bride
  • My Best Friend's Wedding
  • Steel Magnolias
  • August: Osage County
  • Mystic Pizza
  • Sleeping With the Enemy

7. Time for a Thanksgiving feast! Pick your favorite food:

  • The drumstick, please!
  • That juicy dark meat is my jam.
  • A big pile of mashed potatoes.
  • Gravy. Just gravy.
  • Green bean casserole.
  • Buttery pan rolls, yeahhh.
  • Pumpkin pie. I need that sweet stuff!
  • Sweet potato pie. WAY better than pumpkin.
  • Pecan pie, the best of all pies.

8. Dance party! Pick a Cher song:

  • I Got You Babe
  • Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves
  • Just Like Jesse James
  • If I Could Turn Back Time
  • Shoop Shoop (It's In His Kiss)
  • Strong Enough
  • Song for the Lonely
  • I Found Someone
  • Believe

9. You're getting reassigned! Pick your ideal bunkie:

  • Amy Poehler
  • Kerry Washington
  • Oprah
  • Angela Bassett
  • Julianna Margulies
  • Zoe Saldana
  • Phylicia Rashad
  • Aubrey Plaza
  • Greta Gerwig

10. Happy hour! What are you drinking?

  • White wine.
  • Red wine.
  • Vodka and diet.
  • Vodka, straight.
  • Some kind of fancy beer.
  • Cheap-ass beer.
  • Bourbon.

11. When you were a kid, you liked to:

  • Play outside.
  • Draw on walls.
  • Play dress-up.
  • Read a book.
  • Chase butterflies.

12. You carry stuff in:

  • A backpack.
  • A messenger bag.
  • A plastic bag.
  • A tote bag you got from supporting your local PBS station.
  • A simple, elegant leather bag.

13. Your relationship with your bestie is:

  • Super, uber, crazy close.
  • We don't talk that often, but when we do, it's like no time has passed.
  • Long-distance.
  • I have too many friends to pick a "bestie."
  • I don't have friends.

14. Your shower philosophy is:

  • Get in and get out, nothing fancy.
  • I like to stay in there a little longer than I need to, just letting the water fall on me.
  • I have a LOT of products I need to use.
  • I actually take baths.
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