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These 19 Food-Related Vintage Valentines Are Hilarious and Creepy at the Same Time

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1. I'm "PLUM" Crazy!

Vintage valentines rely heavily on flimsy puns.

image: Contented Sparrow
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2. PEAS be my PODner!

How could someone resist a line like that?

image: Contented Sparrow
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3. I YAM Crazy About You!

Popeye might send this one to Olive Oyl!

image: Mitch O'Connell
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4. Maybe Your Valentine Likes Really Weird Poetry.

There aren't even any ice cream puns.

image: Mitch O'Connell
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5. EGG-zactly!

Phew! Back to the puns.

image: Contented Sparrow
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6. "Good Egg" Isn't Even a Pun.

"Hey, I love you - let's get sizzled to death together."

image: Contented Sparrow
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7. HERRING.

Herring is for lovers?????

image: Contented Sparrow
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8. I'm A-pealing!

First of all, spell it "peel" if there's a banana there. Second, how presumptuous! Third, we are now entering the, er, symbolic portion of the slideshow.

image: Mitch O'Connell
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9. Carrot With a Ukulele.

Sure.

image: Contented Sparrow
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10. Corny!

It wouldn't be a Valentine if it wasn't a LITTLE corny.

image: Contented Sparrow
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11. HOT TIP.

Lotta hot dog imagery around.

image: Mitch O'Connell
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12. Hot Dogs in Buns.

It's not subtle.

image: Mitch O'Connell
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13. My Kisses Are Like Hot Dogs????

Spread with mustard?!?!?! Is that romantic?!!?!?

image: Mitch O'Connell
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14. Frankly, My Dear...

...I don't understand why there's so much mustard on these valentines.

image: Mitch O'Connell
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15. THE WURST.

Or, as Jean-Ralphio Saperstein might say, "The wooooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oooooorst!"

image: Mitch O'Connell
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16. Baloney.

Nothing says "I love you" like a sausage carving up another sausage.

image: History Maniac
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17. Marriage Lobster.

Give this to YOUR lobster. Ross and Rachel fans, you know.

image: Bat Rabbits
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18. I'm STARVING for you.

Not totally sure what a monkey has to do with this, but ok.

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19. And If You're Still Hungry...

...you're sweet enough to eat. Implied cannibalism! HAPPY VALENTIMES!!!

image: Contented Sparrow
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