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16 Puntastic Oscar Party Recipes Inspired by the Nominees.

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1. American Brussels Sprouts

To make: roast Brussels sprouts. Top with American cheese. Put in science oven for 2 minutes. Enjoy.

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2. Phyllo-mena

To make: put corned beef and cabbage in phyllo shells. Bake.

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3. Dallas Buyers' Club Sandwich

To make: assemble club sandwich. Distribute to other people who need club sandwiches.

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4. The Wolf of Walnut Street

To make: glaze walnuts with powdered sugar and cocaine.

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5. Cashews McConaughey

To make: put cashews in a bowl. Each time you eat one, say "all right, all right, all riiiiiight."

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6. Sandra Bouillabaisse

To make: make bouillabaisse. Then, stop aging.

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7. Crabdip Cooper

To make: make crab dip. Serve with a perm.

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8. June Squid

To make: make calamari. Serve while reminding people that June Squibb is the old lady from Nebraska.

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9. Cate Blanched Asparagus

To make: blanch asparagus, then assemble around a Barbie doll as demonstrated above to serve.

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10. Jonah Hillshire Farms Li'l Smokies Pigs in a Blanket

To make: wrap Li'l Smokies in crescent rolls. They're surprisingly good, just like Jonah Hill!

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11. Christian Kale Chips

To make: bake kale in the oven and put salt on them. To serve, craft them into a terrible combover.

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12. J. Slaw

To make: serve coleslaw that everyone raves about incessantly. Then wait for the inevitable backlash.

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13. Grav(it)y

To make: make gravy. Serve with an astronaut floating in it.

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14. Juice Dern

To make: combine any juice with any booze, and call it Juice Dern.

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15. Granita Nyong'o

To make: make a granita with any fruit you like. Dress it incredibly stylishly. Serve.

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16. Baked Nebraska

To make: make a baked Alaska, but serve in black and white.

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