These 19 Food-Related Vintage Valentines Are Hilarious and Creepy at the Same Time

Happy Singles Awareness Week, everyone! Whether you're coupled or un, this week seems like it causes a lot of stress for a lot of people. Why don't you relax by trying to figure out what the heck is going on with these crazy, food-related vintage valentines?
1. I'm "PLUM" Crazy!
Vintage valentines rely heavily on flimsy puns.
2. PEAS be my PODner!
How could someone resist a line like that?
3. I YAM Crazy About You!
Popeye might send this one to Olive Oyl!
4. Maybe Your Valentine Likes Really Weird Poetry.
There aren't even any ice cream puns.
5. EGG-zactly!
Phew! Back to the puns.
6. "Good Egg" Isn't Even a Pun.
"Hey, I love you - let's get sizzled to death together."
Herring is for lovers?????
8. I'm A-pealing!
First of all, spell it "peel" if there's a banana there. Second, how presumptuous! Third, we are now entering the, er, symbolic portion of the slideshow.
9. Carrot With a Ukulele.
10. Corny!
It wouldn't be a Valentine if it wasn't a LITTLE corny.
11. HOT TIP.
Lotta hot dog imagery around.
12. Hot Dogs in Buns.
It's not subtle.
13. My Kisses Are Like Hot Dogs????
Spread with mustard?!?!?! Is that romantic?!!?!?
14. Frankly, My Dear...
...I don't understand why there's so much mustard on these valentines.
Or, as Jean-Ralphio Saperstein might say, "The wooooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oooooorst!"
16. Baloney.
Nothing says "I love you" like a sausage carving up another sausage.
17. Marriage Lobster.
Give this to YOUR lobster. Ross and Rachel fans, you know.
18. I'm STARVING for you.
Not totally sure what a monkey has to do with this, but ok.
19. And If You're Still Hungry...'re sweet enough to eat. Implied cannibalism! HAPPY VALENTIMES!!!

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