14 Classic Books Mashed up With Everyday Household Objects. The Result Is Strangely Hilarious.


by Anna Marquardt
Bed, Bath and Beyond (or as I like to call it, Bed, Bath and Beyonce) seems to sell just about everything, doesn't it? Sheets? GOT IT. Gadgets? YES. Toiletries? YUP. But what if BBB decided to start repackaging classic literature with their own spin? It might look something like this.
1. The Grater Gatsby

Daisy's voice sounded like money...and cheese.

2. The Masher in the Rye

Anyone who says they don't like mashed potatoes is a phony.

3. Pride and Pillowcase

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single bed in possession of a pillow must be in want of a pillowcase. (I know this is NOT the cover of the book, but Colin Firth.)

4. The Bell Jar Opener

To the person in the bell jar, blank and stopped as a dead baby, the world itself is a bad dream. To the person who can't open their pickles, that also sucks.

5. David Copperfryingpan

It's hard to turn out as the hero of your own life when you have a pan for a head.

6. Love in the Time of Colanders

The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love. Now let's drain this pasta.

7. A Farewell to Armoire

Ugh, I hate this book.

8. Showerhead Revisited

I used this movie version because did you know this movie existed?? I didn't.

9. Threadcount of Monte Cristo

Revenge is a dish best served on 180 threads per inch.

10. Moby Dish

Call me Dishmael.

11. The Fellowship of the Napkin Ring

Followed by The Two Towels.

12. The Pepper Mill on the Floss

George Eliot was a woman, you guys.

13. Uncle Tom's Cabinet

Smaller house of Uncle Thomas.

14. Garlic Press of the D'Urbervilles

It came from humble beginnings but grew into your most prized kitchen utensil.

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