Bed, Bath and Beyond (or as I like to call it, Bed, Bath and Beyonce) seems to sell just about everything, doesn't it? Sheets? GOT IT. Gadgets? YES. Toiletries? YUP. But what if BBB decided to start repackaging classic literature with their own spin? It might look something like this.
1. The Grater Gatsby
Daisy's voice sounded like money...and cheese.
2. The Masher in the Rye
Anyone who says they don't like mashed potatoes is a phony.
3. Pride and Pillowcase
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single bed in possession of a pillow must be in want of a pillowcase. (I know this is NOT the cover of the book, but Colin Firth.)
4. The Bell Jar Opener
To the person in the bell jar, blank and stopped as a dead baby, the world itself is a bad dream. To the person who can't open their pickles, that also sucks.
5. David Copperfryingpan
It's hard to turn out as the hero of your own life when you have a pan for a head.
6. Love in the Time of Colanders
The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love. Now let's drain this pasta.
7. A Farewell to Armoire
Ugh, I hate this book.
8. Showerhead Revisited
I used this movie version because did you know this movie existed?? I didn't.
9. Threadcount of Monte Cristo
Revenge is a dish best served on 180 threads per inch.
10. Moby Dish
Call me Dishmael.
11. The Fellowship of the Napkin Ring
Followed by The Two Towels.
12. The Pepper Mill on the Floss
George Eliot was a woman, you guys.
13. Uncle Tom's Cabinet
Smaller house of Uncle Thomas.
14. Garlic Press of the D'Urbervilles
It came from humble beginnings but grew into your most prized kitchen utensil.