18 Hilariously Misguided 1-Star Reviews of Children's Books


by Anna Marquardt
Even if you don't HAVE a kid, at some point you WERE a kid, and may have enjoyed one of these classic books. Not everyone agrees, however, that these books are great - check out some of the hilarious negative reviews people have left on them on Amazon.
1. "What is mush?"

"My son asked me "Mama, what's mush?" Um.....I didn't know what to say. What is mush? Is that even a noun? I know mushy is adjective of course. Then the "old lady" aka a rabbit - so confusing! My son again asked "what's an old lady?" Well an old lady ISN'T a knitting rabbit."

2. "Just mooching."

"A very poor book compared to "Goodnight Moon". Just mooching off the the "good night" kiddie book market."

3. "Lame."

"This book was a peice o'... you know and wasn't worth the time or effort to read. My brother thoght it was lame and he is 8."

4. "Seriously?!"

"Seriously?! Someone wrote an entire story about a donkey who made a stupid decision to become a rock and (surprise) got stuck as a rock for a long time."

5. "Mice everywhere and feces."

"Who would let a mouse into their house by bribing them with a cookie. If your kid did that in real life and you ended up with mice everywhere and feces it's not going to be a good experience."

6. "The concept is lost on me."

"What idea is to be gleaned from this? If it is that being pokey doesn't pay the concept is lost on me as the puppy benefits from it 2 out of 3 times."

7. "Questionable flying contraption of a hot dog."

"I wish you happy deciding and I am sure knowing that at the end the rather questionable flying contraption of a hot dog that eventually crashes at the house at the end will make it that much more comfortable."

9. "Garbage."

"We ended up throwing the book in the garbage, because we didn't want any kid to be exposed to this"

9. "Too short."

"I read this book in the bookstore. It took me a minute."

10. "What??"

"The ending is the worst part - the bunny gives up the idea of running away since he knows the mom will find him, so Mom says, "Have a carrot. The End." What??"

11. "Who is the bad guy?"

"Who is the 'bad guy' in the story? Why it's the entrepreneur, the business owner, the one person who appears to have a job......of course."

12. "No story or interesting plot."

"It basically has no story or interesting plot at all. The purpose of the book is just to have a bunch of tongue twisters just to have them there."

13. "Perpetuates carnism."

"The illustrations are great but I wouldn't recommend it for a child being raised as a vegan. The underlying premise perpetuates carnism."

14. "Doesn't know the first thing."

"Amelia Bedelia doesn't know the first thing about child care."

15. "Creepy."

"Simply put this book is strange and doesn't have any redeeming value as children's literature. I honestly found it to be a little creepy."

16. "Surgery is fun?"

"The book makes you believe that having surgery is fun."

17. "Did not enjoy."

"did not enjoy. wish i could just assign a star rating without writing a thesis as to why scary looking lions, monkeys are not that great for 3 year olds"

18. "Inaccurate science."

"If you want your child to learn inaccurate science, use this book with them."



h/t to Nutty for this excellent suggestion.

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