These 13 Eurovision Fashions Are Going To Make You Weep With Joy And Also Die Laughing

If you're not familiar with Eurovision, YOU ARE LIVING LIFE WRONG. Basically, it's an all-Europe Pop Idol competition where each country sends a musical act. The most globally-famous act to emerge from it is ABBA. That sums it up quite well. The finals haven't happened yet - I will be watching them from THE DANISH EMBASSY THANK YOU VERY MUCH - but here are a few of the highlights, fashion-wise, so far.
1. Lithuania
Finally answering the question "What if Tron was a ballet?"
2. Portugal
American Beauty...ON ICE.
3. Romania
Romania has made some amazing advancements in hula-hoop keyboard technology.
4. Ukraine
Honestly, "Dominatrix Jungle Gym" sounds like it could be very lucrative.
5. Austria
Her name is Conchita Wurst and she is what happens when Florence Welch, RuPaul, and Paul Bunyan somehow have a baby. She is glorious.
6. France
Johnny Neutron is BACK and BETTER THAN EVER. He brought his friends Shirtless Dan and French Dirtbag Gallagher and they are ready to party.
7. Greece
"You guys. Crap. Crap. Eurovision is today."
"Did we forget to get costumes? Craaaaaap."
"Just put on leather jackets. We'll look cool."
"Ugh we look so boring. I'm boring myself."
8. Iceland
I think these guys saw Reservoir Dogs recently. But in this case, who WOULDN'T want to be Mr. Pink?? He looks great.
9. Poland
Glad to see that at least one country is going the traditional route.
10. Germany
I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of pink streamers." What I said was, "Give me all the pink streamers you have".
11. FYR Macedonia
"Guys, I'm going to be making some pretty crazy faces, so let's keep my suit simple. My hair, however...go nuts."
12. United Kingdom
"Basically what I want is like if Jennifer Lopez was a gladiator and also she just killed a turkey. Does that make sense?"
13. Slovenia
YOU CALL THESE SHOULDERPADS?? I'LL SHOW YOU SHOULDERPADS, YOU IMBECILE.
*shoves miniature witch hats in shoulders*
*flies away to Eurovision*

Check out more Eurovision fun on their website

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