16 Cringe-Inducing Vintage SPAM Recipes That Will Confuse And Astonish You


by Anna Marquardt
SPAM, which might mean "spiced ham" or might mean "shoulder of pork and ham," is a popular canned meat product. People still eat it, but my guess is that no one is still using these completely bonkers recipes
1. SPAM 'n' Cheese Ribbon Loaf
That's cream cheese, so it's sort of like a bagel. But with SPAM.
2. SPAM 'n' Macaroni Loaf
Oh, you don't like cream cheese? DON'T WORRY, HERE'S AN ALTERNATIVE.
3. SPAM Upside Down Pie
Like pineapple upside-down cake, but terrible.
4. SPAM Birds
That's stuffing in the middle. Stuffing. Like Thanksgiving. NO THANK YOU.
5. SPAMwiches
That bottom sandwich is called the Smörgåsbord SPAMwich, and "has everything," which means: cream cheese, anchovy fillets, olive rings, mustard-spiked mayo, and "flavory" SPAM. FLAVORY IS NOT A WORD, SPAM.
6. SPAM 'n' Limas
Literally just a bowl of SPAM and lima beans. It's like a child's nightmare come to life.
7. SPAM Dinners
The answer is: none of these. None are the winner. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT RICE RING THOUGH?? There's cream of celery soup in it.
8. SPAM Lunch
"Hey girl, you want to go for lunch?"
"SPAM"
"Okay, cool, do you have a place in mind?"
"SPAM"
"So...that's a yes?"
"SPAM"

Actually, now that I think about it, this is a good technique to get rid of annoying people. Just say SPAM.
9. Planked SPAM
Cutting lines in the SPAM doesn't make it look more like real meat.
10. SPAM 'n' Yam Fiesta Loaf
Nope. Nope. Nope.
11. Piggy Backs
"So it's like a cupcake...but instead of frosting, it's mashed potatoes. And instead of a cupcake, it's SPAM."
12. Treet
Treet is SPAM's competitor. Their main advantage over SPAM: you could get it out of the can whole??
13. Treet Open-Face Sandwiches
This "recipe" is by Hoagy Carmichael, composer of "Georgia On My Mind." Hoagy: stick to songwriting.
14. SPAM 'n' Beans
You know what? This IS exactly right for Saturday night.
15. SPAM Spread
So much is wrong. So much.
16. MEAT
I know this just says MEAT but that's SPAM in there, I can tell.

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